I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
