omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I need moral support for this bender
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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