Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
