i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
