It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
