I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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