Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
