So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
