i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
