I hate your face
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
