I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
