my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
