So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
