Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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