i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
