I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
