People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize