How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
