More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
