dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
