Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
