do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
