fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
