The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
