you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. Iām a catch and release kind of girl.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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