I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
