He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize