We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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