Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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