found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
