omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
