Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
