Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
