i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
