I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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