names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
