Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Go christen that room with your naked body.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
