Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
