party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How external is "for external use only"?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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