just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This toilet bowl is my home.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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