My brain says no but my pants say off.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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