you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize