I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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