The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize