He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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