You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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