im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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