It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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