I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
