dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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