okay pat passed out under dana's car
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
