My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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