i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
