My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
