Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i barfeds in our rink
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
