He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
