Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
God I need to hump something, right now.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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