He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
