My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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