I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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