Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
