What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize