The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
