so that wasnt chicken after all
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
