it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
