I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
