Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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