the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize