Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
