the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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