Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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