Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
