Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
