you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
