your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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