Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize