I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
