I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
