sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
