I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
