FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
