my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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