well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
