3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Bring me that man meat
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
