She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
