I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
