ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
